chumptastic dot org

27 Jun 07

slightly better job than “crack whore” or “assistant crack whore”

sandra sent me the funniest job description i’ve ever seen today:

DO YOU WANT TO work in a place where you feel you belong? DO YOU WANT TO make a difference in someone’s life? DO YOU WANT TO work in a place where your creativity is promoted and challenged on different levels? DO YOU WANT TO be supported by a professional management team? DO YOU WANT TO work with the best of the best? DO YOU WANT TO be proud of what you do? If this sounds like you and you know what it takes to become a part of our team, then apply to the position posted below to begin your career at Comcare Health Services, one of Canada’s prominent providers of community health programs and services to public, industrial and individual markets. Comcare believes in the principle of employment equity in the workplace, to ensure that Aboriginal people, persons with disabilities, visible minorities and women do not face employment barriers within our organization. Comcare Health Services encourages applications from qualified women, men, visible minorities, aboriginal people and persons with disabilities. **To ensure a timely response to electronic submissions, please include job title and location in your subject line or in the body of text.

DETAILS OF POSITION

Part time positions are open for people to work at the Kingston Penitentiary in the Urine Collection department. The main responsibility is to collect urinalysis specimen from inmates housed in Kingston Penitentiary. The hours would be 7am-6pm as needed. Some weekend shifts are also available.

Qualifications:

Certificate as Health Care Aid or Personal Support Worker an asset but not required
Community experience an asset

**Please Note: Candidates will be required to submit a vulnerable position screening upon hire.

(http://kedco.workopolis.com/kedco.aspx?action=Transfer&View=Content/JobSeeker/JobPostingView&jobid=9278336&lang=EN&OldUrl=)

as if the job description wasn’t great enough, the juxtaposition of the intro and details makes it an instant classic.

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Pronunciation: 'ch&mp
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps blend of chunk and lump
Date: 1883

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