chumptastic dot org

i find myself on a somewhat embarassing and oddly elaine-ian quest: i’m in search of a discontinued deodorant. for the last few years, i’ve received many compliments on how i smell – “what cologne are you wearing?” people often ask. “none,” i reply with a knowing smile, “it’s my deodorant.” for a while i wondered if i only smelled good in relation to other IT people, but i’ve since ruled that out (although i like to think that is a true statement). anyway, in summary, speed stick ultimate summit grand (by mennen!) gets the credit for my odour.

sadly, these compliments will come to an end in the near future when my stockpile runs out. that’s right, colgate-palmolive, in their infinite wisdom, has decided that: “[a]lthough [they] realize that a number of consumers enjoyed the product, unfortunately sales were simply not sufficient to continue selling it”, according to lucienne beaumont, bilingual consumer consultant of colgate-palmolive’s consumer affairs department. lucienne tried to be helpful by sending me $10 in coupons for colgate-palmolive products, but ultimately i won’t be satisfied until i can spend those $10 on speed stick ultimate summit grand.

i’ve taken to looking for leftover stock at any drug store i pass by, and it’s proven to be somewhat successful – i hit the jackpot at the liberty village dominion last week – 7 sticks! sadly, these 7 sticks won’t last me forever, and this is where you, my dear reader, come in: if you happen to come across a stash of speed stick ultimate summit grand, please email me at chumptastic@gmail.com and let me know where i can pick more up. otherwise, i may be forced to trying to decide whether an event (or person) is summit grand-worthy or not, and no one wants that to happen. come to think of it, could that be why IT staff tend to smell the way they do? could it be that i’m not deodorant-worthy? perhaps that’s a topic for another post.

[a quick aside: who knew that people bought deodorant on ebay? not i.]