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18 Jan 05

at john orr, we recognize you need instructions on how to walk

when i got home from work last week on the day of the ice storm, i essentially had to skate up the front walkway of bobby orr tower – oddly, they never bothered to put down any sand or salt throughout the entire day. what’s funny, though, was this eastern european girl who was standing in the middle of the walkway, frantically waving her arms around like a tightrope walker with an inner ear disorder. i don’t speak to many people in my building, but i definitely HAVE had conversations with her. she strikes me as someone without any life skills whatsoever and who strikes up conversations with anyone in her frame of vision (like the time she pointed out that we both got cogeco bills on the same day, and then asked how much mine was for).

anyway, back on track: as she was floundering on the ice, she first asked me if it was as slippery elsewhere. i replied that it wasn’t quite THAT bad everywhere, but the sidewalks were mostly impassable. then came my favourite question: “do you think it’d be better if i were wearing boots?” i paused, looked down at her running shoes, and somehow managed to say “yes, definitely” without laughing at her.

for completeness, i’ll also illustrate that i’m not a very nice person by explaining that, upon answering this question, i just headed towards the doorway. the girl walking in behind me WAS nice, and proved this by offering to help running shoe girl back up the walkway.

anyway, the point of all this is that the bobby orr tower monthly newsletter arrived today (and i’ve come to anxiously expect it, given past issues’ unintentional comedy), and i don’t think it’s a coincidence that this was one of the points of interest:

someone MAY need some semi-colon skills, but that’s not the point. this time.

one final note: i was pretty irked about the lack of salting, so i left a comment card for the super. perhaps this is queen’s new way of shirking responsibility for such things? i foresee mass qlink emails to all students in lieu of salting the sidewalks on campus in the near future….

2 Responses to “at john orr, we recognize you need instructions on how to walk”

  1. 1
    optimus Says:

    Dear Queen’s Student:

    Please be advised that all building maintenance will be indefinately suspended. To prevent being hit in the head by debris from the crumbling JDUC and PEC buildings, please cautiously examine the state of ceilings before walking underneath them.

    Yours most truly,

    Principal Hitchcock

  2. 2
    anne... Says:

    i would LOVE to see the 80’s style video that should go along with this notice. picture it : the before sequence is a woman with a feathery hairdo wearing stiletto heels running & blatantly disregarding handrails ending in a freeze frame of a painful spill with a big red ‘X’ through it. then the after sequence pinwheels in with sensible footwear & tiny baby steps (feathered hairdo remains unchanged)…

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Pronunciation: 'ch&mp
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps blend of chunk and lump
Date: 1883

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