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03 Jan 05

not enough christmas fist fights for my liking

my holidays came to a crashing halt today, as work has reared its ugly head once again. my vacation was lovely, as i split time between peterborough and toronto. rather than attempting a comprehensive blow by blow account of my time off, i thought i’d present a couple of lists to highlight some of the fun.

1. canadian celebrity sightings/stalkings:

  • don mckellar on dundas west in front of the lakeview lunch
  • daryn jones at the beaver cafe on queen west
  • snow (yes! snow!) walking down queen west a block from the beaver

(note that all were within 24 hours of each other).

total number of autographs/confrontations/fist fights: 0 (sadly).

2. actual quotes from a certain relative of mine, on the day of our family get together:

  • “know what book i couldn’t stand? pet semetary 2.”
  • “did you ever see the movie _______? i loved it.” (insert: garfield, walking tall, grease, etc. note that he hated lost in translation and is excited to see blade: trinity)
  • “i don’t cry at movies, but i cried during i am sam. i also cried during radio.”
  • “i hated motorcycle diaries – i hate subtitles. if i’m paying for a movie, i’m not going to read.”
  • “did you see the movie ray? i hear that jamie foxx will be nominated for the best supporting actor oscar.” (us: “supporting actor? wasn’t he ray?”).
  • “i also heard that sean penn would be nominated for majestic river.” (us: “it’s mystic river. and that was last year. and he won.”)
  • “oswald from the drew carry show reminds me of myself.”
  • “i got an xbox for christmas.” (us: “did you get any games?”) “yeah, it came with splinter cell, but i don’t like it. it’s too hard.”
  • “when i’m at work i see all these kids eating grilled cheeses without ketchup, and i’m thinking… what are you doing?! that’s not a grilled cheese!!”
  • “you got a hoodie for christmas too? great, now you can be grandmaster j and i can be grandmaster r!”
  • “you should let anne sleep in the car when you go to your dad’s. then you can wake her up by banging on the glass and shining a flashlight in her eyes. like that time i was on the museum hill where people were doing it in their cars and a cop did that”. (us: “uh, why were you on museu–nevermind”)
  • “did anne buy you an xbox for christmas? no? she should next year.”
  • “what did you get for christmas, anne?” (proceeds to interrupt after every item with “did you get an xbox?” or various other gaming systems, and offered her pity when she stated that no, she received no such thing).

total number of fist fights: 0 (surprisingly).

i can tell you’re jealous.

5 Responses to “not enough christmas fist fights for my liking”

  1. 1
    anne... Says:

    a few comments about the holiday gathering:

    1. since it was my first time at such a family function, rob’s certain relative directed pretty much ALL of those comments towards me (please send the appropriate pity my way).
    2. i somehow managed to keep a somewhat straight face while he sat across from me eating a full plate of food (with turkey) PLUS an extremely large turkey drumstick that had been saved just for him.
    3. the closest i came to losing it was when i tried to convince him that pet semetary 2 was not, in fact, a book. he would have none of it.

    and i now, of course, feel intense pressure to buy rob an xbox for christmas next year. i won’t buy him splinter cell though… i hear it’s too difficult.

  2. 2
    sevenzarkseven Says:

    did he actually say “museum hill”? i think that would be armour hill, would it not?

  3. 3
    pager Says:

    of course it should’ve been armour hill. but keep in mind he did also say “grandmaster r”.

  4. 4
    pager Says:

    oh yeah, and i didn’t point out his age: late 30s. that’s right.

  5. 5
    pager Says:

    fyi, that’s the same relative mentioned here:
    http://www.chumptastic.org/archives/000014.php

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Pronunciation: 'ch&mp
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps blend of chunk and lump
Date: 1883

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