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Archive for June, 2004

27 Jun 04

comedy writes itself

while perusing the lost and found in the mac corry computer lab (as i am wont to do), i came across this lovely thank you card:

(click on the card to see the heartfelt message inside)

27 Jun 04

typos: comedy gold

grabbed last night from kingston cable 12 (pbs i think):

someone certainly is experienceing difficuties.

24 Jun 04

the second saddest story ever told?

in sharp contrast to the saddest story ever told, i was surprisingly successful today at avoiding the score of the england/portugal soccer match, despite the fact they were watching it just outside my office. i taped the game so jo and i could watch it after she got off work, and i was convinced i’d somehow learn the results before then.

anyway, the match itself was pretty thrilling, and it finished tied even after 30 minutes of extra time. i hadn’t taken extra time into account, however, when setting my vcr to tape last night…so as timed ticked on jo and i were getting more and more concerned about whether the tape would run out before the game ended. penalty kicks began with about 5 minutes remaining on the tape… and sure enough, the tape ended as owen hargreaves was set to kick. turns out the game lasted about 3 hours and 5 minutes, while my tape lasted 3 hours. crap. it was pretty anti-climactic to have to look up the results online after investing 3 hours into an exciting and stressful game. perhaps this is the second saddest story ever told.

23 Jun 04

uhhh, you can’t be serious

so i was helping this woman with a problem with internet explorer over the phone today, and i reached a point where i wanted to email her a file.

me: what’s your email address?
her: uh…i don’t have one.
me: (long dumbfounded pause, with my mouth hanging open)
her: yeah, i really should look into setting one up.
me: …sorry, it’s just been so long since i spoke to someone without an email address…
her: (embarassed) i’ve been meaning to….

i mean seriously…who DOESN’T have an email account? it puzzled me so much that i had to write about it.

22 Jun 04

true fame

thanks to cindy and paul for this photo from the canadian walk of fame in toronto – i really AM famous!

21 Jun 04

obscure sports monthly

i’m not sure how i forgot to mention this:

when i arrived at my dad’s yesterday, tim was watching the two best tv shows ever:

extreme dodgeball challenge
and
world cup paintball championships

neither were quite as fun as lawnmower racing, but dodgeball got bonus points for being hosted by the battlebots guys.

20 Jun 04

mmm, chugging relish

kristi came up for a visit this weekend for this term’s queen’s players show. i won’t go into too many details about the show itself (and i don’t remember a whole lot of them, frankly), but suffice it to say that it was the drunkest and rowdiest show i’ve ever been to. for those of you who don’t know, queen’s players is a musical comedy performance that takes place in a bar, and the audience buys a lot of alcohol for the cast. it definitely takes a special kind of skill to perform immediately after chugging a beer. i think the highlight may have been the passing of a container of relish up to a cast member in lieu of alcohol – and he chugged it. yum.

anyway, the weekend was pretty fun, and i introduced my sister to the following (keeping in mind that she actually LIVED in kingston for 2 years):

  • mekong’s vietnamese food
  • white mountain’s yummy ice cream
  • morrison’s super breakfast

i still can’t understand how she’d never done any of that stuff when she lived here…especially white mountain. but anyway…

i went to my dad’s today for a bit and spent much of the day feeling woozy, presumably ’cause i had to take extra allergy medicine to fend off my runny nose. good times. oh, and on my way home, i drove by a car with a bumper sticker reading “S-E-X-Y Senior Citizen”…oh, and it was being driven by a guy in his mid 20s. now THAT was picture worthy.

19 Jun 04

my prayers were answered

from http://www.webwoods.com/ironhorsesaloon/coming.cfm:

June 23, 2004 BAHA MEN – The Border 106.7 and The Ironhorse present “BAHA MEN”. They are world renowned for their million selling single “WHO LET THE DOGS OUT” All Ages Welcome!!! Tickets just $15.00 in advance, on sale now!!!

ok, so in the last year, the following have visited kingston: arrested development (yes, i was in attendance), dj jazzy jeff, 2 live crew and now the baha men? i wonder how many people are gonna pay $15 to hear who let the dogs out? interestingly, there’s no reference to this show at http://www.bahamen.com/, so maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

17 Jun 04

the saddest story ever told

for some reason, tsn elected to tape delay the england/switzerland soccer game today 3 hours, and chose instead to show some of round 1 of the us open. the plan was to ditch work and head to the grad club to watch the game at 3. unfortunately, andrea’s msn name was, at one point, “england 1-0 at halftime” or something like that – which is unfortunate but acceptable. and as i was on my way out the door, a co-worker (who i’d mentioned this to previously) said “hey rob, england won 3-0!” i asked him why he told me that when he knew i was gonna watch it. he didn’t have a good answer. clearly, this is the saddest story ever told.

15 Jun 04

stuff i’ve learned in the last 24 hours

things i’ve learned today:

1. apparently my superintendent feels as though the secret to communicating with asian people who aren’t so strong in english is to simply speak loudly. i discovered this while i was attempting to have a nap after work and her yelling outside my door awoke me with a start.

2. apparently the emergency phone button in my elevator works, as i discovered when i hit said button with a bag of groceries. here’s the conversation:

disembodied voice: hello, emergency response centre.
me: uh, oops, sorry, i, uh, hit the button by mistake.
disembodied voice: (sounded surprised) oh? uh, ok.
me: yeah.
disembodied voice: (now sounding annoyed) so everything’s ok then?
me: yeah.
disembodied voice: (click)

and then a busy signal echoed through my elevator…and my hallway. i hurriedly closed my apartment door so as to disavow any knowledge of its cause.

3. i should really wear shorts to work when it’s this fucking humid and i’ll be lugging computers around.

Pronunciation: 'ch&mp
Function: noun
Etymology: perhaps blend of chunk and lump
Date: 1883

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